I’ve always been thin. Always. It is nothing new for me, something I’ve lived with all my adult life. However, there are certain scenarios where either in the middle of a conversation or out of the blue where people feel the need to point out the fact that I am so tiny. Then starts the discussion about my physical appearance – like it’s something I’m not already aware of.
My weight and appearance, because of the comments and conversations I have experienced, has always been something that I hate talking about. Mainly because, I just don’t feel like I should have to justify my weight and how I look to anyone. In general, my eating habits are terrible and usually contain a large amount of sugar and carbs. I am not anorexic, I eat, just not very healthy. The fact of the matter is, that no matter how much sugar, carbs and other crap I ingest, I don’t pick up weight - ever. Some may see this as a blessing, but I have weighed 50kg for as long as I remember and who knows if or when that will change.
I know that in writing my story it going to open the flood gates (that are my tear ducts) and a lot of women may not understand, being as most women suffer with not losing weight rather than never being able to pick any up. But it’s a situation I have dealt with my whole life and as long as I am as thin as I am, I will probably continue to encounter these kinds of situations in the future. I have been in the thick of conversations where people will suddenly feel the need to talk about a person’s weight like it’s their business, half the time they don’t know the person, possibly someone that has walked past them, or they have seen on social media. But, because of the slack I received in my 20-odd years of criticism, I feel as though I have even less time for this every increasing ‘body shaming’ rubbish. Even today, people surprisingly think it is perfectly normal and (sometimes) okay to discuss other women’s body shapes.
Because of the experiences I have been through, I have taken everything I have learnt and used that to make myself a better person. It has all helped me love myself more – regardless of my weight. I choose not to engage with people who think that it’s okay to body shame people. I choose to ‘tell them off’ and voice my opinion on the matter. I choose to only have relationships with people who are accepting, and end those that are unhealthy for me. I make those choices for the sake of my health. I like to think I am more confident than I was a year ago and I would like to think I love myself more because of the choices I have made.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I look at myself in the mirror and choose to put on a baggy shirt instead of one that is fitted. And there are days where I still wear jeans instead of shorts – regardless of the weather – because I feel self-conscious that day. I know that I will continue to have those days, but there are the days where I chose to show off my tiny waist because I feel good and boy-oh-boy am I super grateful for those days!
What’s more, I am super lucky to have a beautiful wife who loves and accepts me no matter what my waist looks like. She supports me, makes me feel good and is always there when I need picking up off the floor. As well as an amazing group of friends who I am so grateful for.
No matter what aspect of your appearance you’re worried about, surround yourself with people who love themselves and love you. And most importantly, don’t be so hard on yourself. You are one of a kind and you are beautiful. We all are!